No way was he Gay? PT3 Gay
Forty-five minutes later I was alone on my computer doing research.
I read a lot of articles that shocked me... again.
Titles like:
Straight Men are a Lot More Bisexual Than You think; What is the Psychological Need to Suck a Man's Cock and Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay?
The key things I learned included:
1. More men fantasize about sucking cock than I could have possibly imagined.
2. For many men, it's an outlet for a secret submissive side. It's nothing more than the need to serve that causes a male to want to suck another man's cock. It has NOTHING (the article stressed nothing) to do with sexual orientation. Many guys think if they suck cock they are a fag. You are only a fag if you take it in the ass and want to have relationships with men. You are however, bi. A submissive male who only sucks another guy's cock is serving. He is pleasing.
I also learned about the Kinsey Scale, which describes a range from straight to gay.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
This relaxed me a bit as even after the talk with my son and his surprising epiphany, perhaps he wasn't gay... he could possibly just be just a one or two on the scale.
I was also comforted by the idea that sucking cock could be just the expression of a natural submissive side. My son was a good guy, and thus his willingly serving someone else, even sexually, made sense to me.
The analysis of straight guys sucking cock was further expounded in an article called 7 Reasons Straight Guys Suck Dick, which said that more straight guys suck cock than anyone thinks. The author stressed how nothing is hotter for a straight guy than sucking that first cock. The seven reasons given seemed mostly ridiculous, but here are a couple that I found quite astonishing:
1. Straight Guys are Curious: this includes wondering what a dick would feel like in their hand, in their mouth, and the sensation of it hardening inside them. He even stressed how men are wired to be competitive, which includes being the best at sucking dick.
2. Straight Guys Like Getting Blown: in retrospect this is the most obvious thing ever, as most men prefer a blow job over vaginal sex. Many men don't see oral sex as gay since it isn't 'going all the way', e.g.. a cock penetrating one of a woman's other two holes.
What made all this particularly interesting was that it wasn't about race... just psychology. But Ben's plight was definitely about race as well.
So I googled 'Why do white men suck black cock' and found a website called iloveinterracial, and a forum called 'white men suck black cock'.
There were forty-seven pages of comments from both white and black men. The long-winded question was: What I'd like to know is what makes a white man suck black cock? I'm not talking about cuckolds or homosexual guys, but straight guys sucking the odd black cock and do they swallow the black man's cum and do they like to get a blowjob themselves.
Comments that intrigued me included:
-I think they feel inferior and do it to pay tribute so something so superior.
(This intrigued me, as Jamal had said something similar.)
- The first time a black man put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me to my knees and told me to suck his cock I wasn't gay and had never thought of sex with a man before and I knew it was wrong for some people, but there was something inside me that made this the most erotic encounter I had ever had and I not only desired to suck his rock hard huge shiny black cock, I was also drawn to it like it was programmed into my DNA. I felt just like when I knew I was going to get some pussy for the first time. This time I knew I was his inferior and would be sucking and swallowing his hot cum in my belly, it made me feel so nasty, and I felt so horny. Afterwards I felt so degraded and humiliated to have sucked his big black cock off and swallowed all of his cum. As he stood above me with his superior large cock dripping cum on my face, he had me look in his eyes, he told me that I now knew what I was, and he expected me to always treat black men like the kings they are. I'm sure it's either in my DNA or I have been brainwashed. I don't care which, as long as I know I do my best to please the superior black man.
(This fascinated me, as it was from an actual white guy. He sounded a bit like my son... unsure why he did it... but he did it... and he loved it. And I didn't detect any shame in what he said.)
-I suck black cock because I like to. It turns me on. It's taboo...or was....it's considered pretty normal now. It's different and many times bigger. I get a kick out of doing stuff I'm not supposed to do. It's one thing to be a man and suck dick. But to be a white man and suck black dick is even more, and it doesn't matter to me that some people look down on a white man sucking black dick and eating their cum.
(I wondered if that was true. Was it now pretty normal for a white guy to suck a black cock? Until today I'd had no idea there even was such a sexual subculture.)
-I am a 54 year old happily married (26 years) father of 2, consider myself straight and love to suck big black cock.
(Wow! A married guy with k**s who considers himself straight and yet will suck a black cock. Evidence was continuing to pile up that my son wasn't alone in his feelings.)
- Sucking black cock emasculates us white boys. It goes against most everything we were taught growing up. So, when a straight guy bends his knees and sucks a big black cock, that act of submission reinforces his beta status. When the wife or gf watches, he is shamed even more, and knows he can no longer deny he is inferior to the superior black man who just dominated him. It's a power play. It works.
(More about the white guy's mindset, which kept me intrigued. And this guy does feel shame but considers it a plus. Could history be a factor in this?)
- I am not gay I am bisexual (orally only) I am a 50 y/o white man. I love women. I love the feel of a hot tight pussy and certainly love eating pussy and anything else you can think of while having sex with a woman. But I must say I do suck Black cock and Black cock only. When I see a black cock I just drop to my knees completely powerless to turn away from it however I am the opposite with white men. I love to swallow black seed and the size of most black men's cocks are great and of course the Taboo factor plus being in the closet is very exciting.
(Could it be that simply some intangible power possessed by black cock is what captivates white men? This guy is powerless in the face of black cock but only black cock... just like my son.)
-I'm a straight white man in every respect but one; 2 - 4 times a year if I'm single I'll find a bbc to deepthroat on craigslist. Only black men. Their cocks are big, long, look beautiful & silky when they are shining with my saliva... It's taboo. It's exciting. Years ago, I caught an ex of mine watching a porn with a little pigtailed white girl being gang-banged & dominated by two black guys with HUGE cocks. At first I was horrified that this is what got her off. In order to understand her fetish I began to watch similar videos. As time passed I realized I LOVED the vids where the white girl deepthroats & submits to huge black cocks. After a while I began to fantasize that I was the girl. I borrowed my ex's 8" dildo & began to deepthroat it while I watched the videos, I'd come with the dildo buried all the way down my throat. Then I answered a craigslist ad, deepthroated a 9" black cock till he shot into my stomach. Amazing. Loved it ever since.
(This one intrigued me too. What fascinated me was this circuitous route of how a straight guy ended up sucking a black cock; for some reason I wanted to read more of these.)
I went through all forty-seven pages and was rock hard throughout. That should have scared me, yet now I needed to read some stories about white straight men sucking cock.
I learned there were thousands of such stories.
I read a couple dozen. Each one drew me in some more.
My cock raged.
Before I knew it... two hours had passed... and I kept stroking my cock while reading story after story.
The idea of sucking cock was now so intriguing.
So captivating.
Then I came buckets as I suddenly imagined being on my knees before Jamal.
As I recovered, I cursed myself.
What the fuck?
Why did I read so much of this?
Why did it turn me on?
I logged out of my laptop and went to shower, cursing myself for my weakness.
.....
I woke up the next morning refreshed.
What a crazy dream!
I got out of bed and saw my phone flashing. I checked my messages and was suddenly wide awake without my usual morning cup of java.
It was a text.
From an unknown number.
Hi, future cock sucker. Here is a video of your son for you.
Shit, everything yesterday had been real.
And there was no way I'd be able to delete this vid without watching it.
I sat back in my bed and pressed play.
"Hungry for my cock?" a male voice said, his voice slightly covered to disguise who it was, even though it was obviously Jamal, as the camera looked down at my son on his knees.
"God, yes," my son responded with lust both in his eyes and in his tone.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Jamal asked as he adjusted the phone to show me his cock. Hard and big. No doubt it was Jamal's, his cock now forever ingrained in my head.
"Still downstairs at the party," he answered sheepishly.
"Think she would like this cock?"
"Probably," Ben surprised me by saying.
"If you could only have this black cock or Amy's pink pussy," Jamal asked, "which would you choose?"
"Your big, fat, juicy, black cock," Ben answered, the camera back on him.
"Would you rather have my cock in your faggot hole or your cock in your girlfriend?"
"I'd take your big black cock pounding my boi pussy," Ben answered, and after all my reading yesterday I could tell that degrading himself was getting him excited.
"I'd love to let you suck my cock, but I promised your Dad I wouldn't let you have it again until after he sucked it," Jamal revealed.
"No," Ben gasped.
I wasn't sure whether it was the devastation of being denied the black cock he craved, or because he'd inadvertently drawn me into this twisted game.
"Don't worry," Jamal reassured, moving his phone back to his cock. "Your Dad is a born cock sucker. I saw it in his eyes."
"Please leave him out of this," Ben pleaded.
"He brought himself into it when he stormed into my house."
"I'll do anything."
"I know you will," Jamal said smugly. "But for now you're to go back to your girlfriend while I summon Jordan to come and do what you're no longer allowed to do."
"Please, I need your cock so bad," Ben pleaded desperately.
"Sorry, you can blame Daddy dearest," Jamal shrugged, his phone still framed on his big, black, juicy cock.
Did I just call it juicy?
Fuck?
"You didn't tell him you wouldn't fuck my cunt," Ben pointed out desperately, his desire for black cock just like so many of the men's I read about last night.
Jamal laughed, "That's true."
"Please, please, just fuck my cunt and cum inside it," Ben begged like a bitch in heat.
"Tempting," Jamal chuckled. "But too bad... you need to be punished for your Dad's actions. Now go."
"Yes, sir," Ben said, completely deflated, using the same tone he had often used on me on punitive occasions.
"Don't worry," Jamal said, stroking his cock, "your Dad will soon be on his knees begging for this."
The video ended.
I lay there paralyzed.
My cock ached.
Fuck, why am I hard?
I'd just watched my son be humiliated.
Yet what was etched in my head was Jamal's big cock.
Fuck!
I flipped open my laptop and searched pornhub for black cock videos.
I pressed play on one and watched as a white slut bobbed on a big black cock... a BBC.
In the past I'd always focused on the girl, but this time I couldn't help but focus on the BBC.
It was so majestic.
It was so long and thick.
It was so black.
I watched her head bobbing on the BBC.
I looked at the glistening shine from her saliva as she stroked the fat cock... so fat she couldn't even wrap her hand completely around it.
I watched in awe as he exploded his load all over her pretty face, but instead of watching her expression and her face getting coated, I watched the black cannon blasting out rope after rope of cum.
I clicked on another clip... then another... choosing between thousands of clips of white women sucking and getting fucked by big black cock.
During every video I was transfixed on the black cock.
Not the black man.
The black cock.
And sometimes on his firm, dominant voice.
When a black man guided a white woman onto her knees, my cock flinched.
When a black man face fucked a white mouth, I got excited.
When a black man shot his load, I watched in transfixed awe.
I also discovered a website called Blacked, where every scene was one or more white women sucking and fucking black cock, and although the plots were usually atrocious, I didn't care because all my attention was on the black cock.
I spent over an hour and a half watching black cock before I couldn't take it any longer, and went back to watch the video of my son's humiliation again.
I took in his desperate hunger.
I heard Jamal's smug confidence.
I watched my son begging for cock.
I stared at Jamal's big black cock.
I came... hard... and in my imagination my cum had become Jamal's spurting cum, and I was the one on my knees sucking that BBC. I was the one taking that load down my throat or all over my face, shooter's choice.
It was then... as I came like a pathetic faggot... that I realized I too was a submissive... just like my son... just like all those other white men.
I knew without a doubt if I was put in that situation again with Jamal, I'd succumb.
Fuck!
I had to control this weakness.
I had to be strong not only for myself, but for my son.
It was no life to be addicted to BBC.
It was no life having to be humiliated like my son.
It was no life to be at the whim of a black man and his black cock.
Fuck!
I cleaned up my mess, logged out and showered again.
I went downstairs for breakfast and was pleasantly surprised to see Amy at the kitchen table, having bacon and eggs with Ben.
I greeted, "Morning."
"It's actually afternoon, Dad," Ben said, pointing to the clock.
12:10.
Fuck, how long did I watch those BBC videos?
"So this is what it's like to be you and waste half the day away," I joked.
"Refreshing, isn't it?" he smiled, showing no hint of the video he made last night. One, I assumed, he had no idea was being filmed for my benefit.
"It kind of is," I laughed.
"I made extra bacon and eggs for you, Mr. Barry," Amy said in her sweet voice as she got up and went to serve me a plate.
"Thanks, Amy," I said, unable to fathom a world where Ben would choose black cock over her, as I admired her long legs and tight ass in a pair of short shorts. (I'm not complaining, but I've never figured out why women's trousers often hug their asses like a second skin while men's don't. Think it's on purpose?) Yes, she's my son's girlfriend, but hot is hot. "But don't worry, I can make my own plate."
"I'm already up," she pointed out.
"She isn't going to stop," Ben advised me.
"Just like your mother," I laughed as I sat down. Mary had always made sure to prepare a big breakfast, as she believed it was the most important meal of the day.
I, on the other hand, always believed supper was.
"So how was last night?" I asked, wanting to see Ben's response.
"Great," Amy interjected. "It was a pretty crazy party."
"You two behaved?" I asked.
"Just the usual crystal meth and teen orgy," Ben quipped.
"So the normal?" I went along, but Amy scolded Ben.
"Ben, don't be ridiculous."
"True, there was no crystal meth," Ben smirked, his usual playful sarcastic banter on full display... no hint of what had actually happened last night, or what had almost happened.
"I remember those weekly orgies," I said, sounding reminiscent.
"You two," Amy shook her head as she placed the plate down in front of me.
"So a good night overall?" I asked.
"It was a blast," Amy said, which gave me a visual popup in my head of a BBC shooting cum.
I shook my head to get the image out of my head.
"You okay, Dad?" Ben asked.
"Yeah, yeah," I nodded, "just still a little tired, I guess."
"You should have slept until two," Ben said.
"Hurry up, Ben," Amy said. "We have to leave soon."
"Where you two off to?" I asked.
"Shopping for bikinis for the lake next weekend," Ben said as if he was being tortured.
"Don't pretend you don't love watching me model bikinis for you," Amy teased, giving him a shoulder rub.
"The first fifty, yes," he said playfully.
"I don't try on fifty," she said.
"Sorry, seventy," Ben corrected.
"Be good," she teased, "or I'll buy a one piece."
"God, no!" Ben gasped.
"Young love," I laughed, thinking how normal this conversation was. Just two teens in love. No evidence that my son would rather suck a BBC or even take one up his ass than watch her try on bikinis... which for the record, I'd find fucking hot.
Shit, I really do need to get laid.
They left; I finished breakfast.
I did the dishes.
I did the chores: laundry, cleaning the house and an oil change for the car.
By the time I was done it was supper... indeed the day is shot when you don't get up until the afternoon.
I texted Ben, who said they were going out for supper, so I barbequed a steak for myself, had a beer and then sat in the backyard and enjoyed the summer sun approaching the horizon.
I opened my ipad and checked my emails and was about to open a book when I felt myself instead googling more BBC stories.
I knew I should push the temptation out of my head, but before I knew it, I was reading tales of white men sucking black cock.
One that really stood out was the silly titled 'Becoming a Cock Slave Ch. 01' by John Hamilton. It was a blunt story of a black teen hitchhiker who convinces a white older guy who picked him up that all white men are cock suckers, and before you know it another straight white man is a cock sucker for BBC.
In the heat of the moment, I wanted just that.
To be forced to suck cock.
I didn't want to do it on my own accord.
I wanted to be dominated.
To be forced.
To be turned into a cock sucker for BBC.
Yet, I knew I couldn't... knew I shouldn't... I already saw the impact such a decision had made on my son's life.
I couldn't be at the whim of black cock.
I especially couldn't be at the whim of black teen cock.
Yet I kept reading more stories until I received a text.
I checked it.
Another blocked number.
If you're getting hungry for BBC, which we both know you are, go to pornhub and search BBC hypnosis videos and begin your training to be the good submissive white cock sucker you were born to be.
Born to be?
Fuck you.
His words only doubled my resolve to be strong.
I closed my ipad.
I went inside and turned on a sports channel.
I was watching a ballgame and as I did, a thought popped into my head as I watched a black batter waiting for a pitch. I wonder how big he is.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
What the hell is coming over me?
My cock was getting hard from watching baseball.
I grabbed myself another beer and focused on the game itself.
The game ended and I was now a little drunk and before I knew it I was in my room, on my laptop and clicking on the pornhub search Jamal had sent me.
Why?
No idea.
Could I control myself?
It seemed not.
So I searched exactly as I'd been told and found quite a few videos.
I clicked on one.
Girls getting fucked by black cock.
Messages flashing by about obedience, submissiveness, and something called sissification. (I later did a side search and learned it was about men making themselves as much like women as possible, but without hormones or surgery, just costuming, makeup, wigs, and most of all, feminine behaviour. Basically it was psychological, but often very immersive and heavy on the obedience, submissiveness and degradation.)
By the time the first video was done, I was rock hard.
In truth, I was rock hard the moment black cocks started popping onto the screen.
I clicked on another video called BBC Sissy.
So many big fat juicy black cocks flashed on the screen.
Being sucked.
Fucking.
Jerking.
Exploding.
It was complete hypnosis as I was drawn completely into the ultimate pendulum... a big cock swaying and pumping.
Glistening with saliva.
Standing erect with determination.
Pointing directly at me as if saying, Get on your fucking knees sissy, and suck me.
There was a voiceover spoken by a sexy feminine voice as if to brainwash me that this was normal... and I was captivated by each spoken word... every one... all while a plethora of black cocks paraded before my eyes.
Worship me.
Bow down to me.
Become the cock sucker you were born to be.
It's in your DNA.
It's who you are.
A cock sucker.
A cum bucket for BBC.
A sissy.
A faggot.
A bottom boi for BBC.
You suck cock.
You take it in the ass... your pussy... your boi hole.
You swallow.
You take facials.
You take bukkakes.
(I also had to look up what that term meant, and it only made my cock ache more at the idea of loads splattering endlessly on my face.)
You love black cock.
You love black cum.
You obey black men.
You worship black dick.
You live to serve BBC.
Say after me: I am a cock sucker for superior black cock.
Robotically I repeated the words verbatim, staring at a black cock swaying like an elephant's trunk: "I am a cock sucker for superior black cock."
I was born to be on my knees worshipping big black cock.
I mindlessly repeated the words as I watched a cute blonde bobbing on a fat black cock as if her life depended on it, and I wondered if perhaps it did: "I was born to be on my knees worshipping big black cock."
I am a white sissy who loves black cum on my face or in my mouth.
The term sissy meant the results of sissification, dressing as a girl etc., and the idea of wearing pantyhose turned me on (something I'd done a few times back as a teenager, but never since), I was fascinated with the idea of feeling cum hitting my face or landing tastefully (not in the normal sense of the word) in my mouth. This idea, of course, was enhanced by the plethora of black cock cannon blasts onto pretty girls' faces or into pretty girls' mouths. So as I watched BBC after BBC explode their white creamy treat (did I just call it a treat?), I repeated the required words: "I am a white sissy who loves black cum on my face or in my mouth."
I then paused the video.
I went to my wife's dresser drawer, which hadn't been touched since her passing, and found a pair of pantyhose.
I got undressed and put them on... which is a bit of work. Stretch them out a bit first, roll the first stocking up to the toes making sure it's lined up right, then slowly pull the stocking up adjusting at the knee, then do the same with the other leg. Slowly pull both sides up to your waist to cover your ass.
These were a bit tight... not surprisingly my wife had been thinner than me... but they did fit. My cock was pressed perfectly against the sheer hosiery.
I moved my hands up and down my legs, always loving the sheer feel of nylons... something I'd done to my wife at some point almost every day of our life together.
God, I missed her.
But I also missed the relaxing, cock-pulsing pleasure of rubbing my hands on nylons... even if they were on my own legs this time.
I went back to the video and pressed play.
I crave black cock.
I repeated, staring at five massive black cocks all being stroked in front of a chubby girl: "I crave black cock."
I crave BBC cum.
I repeated the simple phrase as I watched all five of those cocks explode all over the closed-eyed, opened-mouthed girl: "I crave BBC cum."
I crave being in my natural submissive position on my knees.
As two girls knelt before a lone but mighty BBC I repeated the words, wondering what it would be like to be in that position myself, so I got down on the floor and knelt on my knees as I continued watching the video: "I crave being in my natural submissive position on my knees."
I am a cock sucker for every BBC.
I watched as one by one, dozens of BBCs flashed before me, each of them so captivatingly enticing as I repeated the words as ordered: "I am a cock sucker for every BBC."
Because I am inferior to BIG... BLACK... COCK.
At the moment that was exactly how I felt. It seemed every BBC was much longer than my five-inch cock, much thicker than mine, and completely inexplicably, it was the most beautiful sight in the world. I know I sounded gay, I sounded like a faggot, but that was how I felt as I admitted my current truth: "Because I am inferior to BIG... BLACK ...COCK," as I paused for a couple of seconds between each of those final descriptive words.
I was rubbing my cock through my pantyhose... getting close to coming... when my phone brought me out of my submissive trance.
I paused the video.
I answered the phone.
It was Dave, one of my best friends.
"Hey!" I said, coming further back to reality.
"Hey, yourself. Where are you?" he asked, as I realized I was supposed to be at his house.
"Shit, I lost track of time," I said, which was the understatement of the year.
"Get your ass over here," he said. "And bring along a case of beer for being such a dumb ass."
"Yeah, yeah," I agreed putting my pants on over the pantyhose before I realized it. "I'm on my way."
"Hurry the fuck up," he said, hanging up on me.
I left the pantyhose on, threw some socks on to hide them, and headed out... thinking this call had been fate.
I had to man up.
I was late for Saturday's poker night because I was watching BBC porn.
I had to control these inclinations that were getting so intrusive in my life.
I drove to the liquor store.
Picked up the beer.
Arrived at Dave's house, where I was razzed and had to shotgun a beer and bolt two shots to catch up.
And for a couple of hours, I forgot about my weird weekend.
I drank.
I played poker.
I shot the shit.
It was a typical boy's night.
I was reaching for some chips from a high shelf when Dave asked confusedly, "Are you wearing pantyhose?"
"Um, yeah," I said, instantly embarrassed.
"Why?" he asked.
I came up with a good lie, impressive since I was quite drunk, "This may sound weird, but it's a way to still feel close to Mary."
"Oh, yeah, okay," he said. I'm not sure if he believed me or not, but it wasn't something to argue without looking like a dick. "How are you doing?"
"Ups and downs," I said, that being the truth.
"We should do a Vegas trip," he suggested.
"Yeah, we really should," I agreed, something we did yearly... just the boys... but hadn't since Mary's death.
"Give me a date, and I'll make it work," he said.
"Will do," I nodded, and then added, "but enough of this touchy-feely stuff. I've got to make my money back."
"Well, that ain't going to happen," he said, punching my arm.
"I just need to break even," I persevered.
"Good luck with that," he laughed as we headed back to the living room.
A beer later I poker-faced my way up to a large pot with a full house, and indeed did break even. But I was getting really tired and decided to call an uber to get home since I was quite drunk... when I noticed my phone had a couple of messages.
Worried they were from Jamal, I headed to the washroom, since I had to take a piss anyway.
I closed the door and checked the messages while I pissed (see, men can multitask too).
I somehow knew it wold be from Jamal.
The first was simply a picture of a BBC.
The other was a question: Hungry? If so, I expect you at my house at 1:00 AM. Backyard. In case you're worried... it will be our secret. Just a new cock sucker discovering his purpose.
I sighed.
Fuck!
As I finished pissing, I began to get hard again.
Fuck!
I mindlessly went back to his dick pic.
Fuck, it looked appetizing.
Being drunk only made my resistance weaker.
I was instantly horny.
I pulled my pantyhose, I mean my wife's pantyhose, back up and washed my hands as my phone buzzed again.
I read a lot of articles that shocked me... again.
Titles like:
Straight Men are a Lot More Bisexual Than You think; What is the Psychological Need to Suck a Man's Cock and Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay?
The key things I learned included:
1. More men fantasize about sucking cock than I could have possibly imagined.
2. For many men, it's an outlet for a secret submissive side. It's nothing more than the need to serve that causes a male to want to suck another man's cock. It has NOTHING (the article stressed nothing) to do with sexual orientation. Many guys think if they suck cock they are a fag. You are only a fag if you take it in the ass and want to have relationships with men. You are however, bi. A submissive male who only sucks another guy's cock is serving. He is pleasing.
I also learned about the Kinsey Scale, which describes a range from straight to gay.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
This relaxed me a bit as even after the talk with my son and his surprising epiphany, perhaps he wasn't gay... he could possibly just be just a one or two on the scale.
I was also comforted by the idea that sucking cock could be just the expression of a natural submissive side. My son was a good guy, and thus his willingly serving someone else, even sexually, made sense to me.
The analysis of straight guys sucking cock was further expounded in an article called 7 Reasons Straight Guys Suck Dick, which said that more straight guys suck cock than anyone thinks. The author stressed how nothing is hotter for a straight guy than sucking that first cock. The seven reasons given seemed mostly ridiculous, but here are a couple that I found quite astonishing:
1. Straight Guys are Curious: this includes wondering what a dick would feel like in their hand, in their mouth, and the sensation of it hardening inside them. He even stressed how men are wired to be competitive, which includes being the best at sucking dick.
2. Straight Guys Like Getting Blown: in retrospect this is the most obvious thing ever, as most men prefer a blow job over vaginal sex. Many men don't see oral sex as gay since it isn't 'going all the way', e.g.. a cock penetrating one of a woman's other two holes.
What made all this particularly interesting was that it wasn't about race... just psychology. But Ben's plight was definitely about race as well.
So I googled 'Why do white men suck black cock' and found a website called iloveinterracial, and a forum called 'white men suck black cock'.
There were forty-seven pages of comments from both white and black men. The long-winded question was: What I'd like to know is what makes a white man suck black cock? I'm not talking about cuckolds or homosexual guys, but straight guys sucking the odd black cock and do they swallow the black man's cum and do they like to get a blowjob themselves.
Comments that intrigued me included:
-I think they feel inferior and do it to pay tribute so something so superior.
(This intrigued me, as Jamal had said something similar.)
- The first time a black man put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me to my knees and told me to suck his cock I wasn't gay and had never thought of sex with a man before and I knew it was wrong for some people, but there was something inside me that made this the most erotic encounter I had ever had and I not only desired to suck his rock hard huge shiny black cock, I was also drawn to it like it was programmed into my DNA. I felt just like when I knew I was going to get some pussy for the first time. This time I knew I was his inferior and would be sucking and swallowing his hot cum in my belly, it made me feel so nasty, and I felt so horny. Afterwards I felt so degraded and humiliated to have sucked his big black cock off and swallowed all of his cum. As he stood above me with his superior large cock dripping cum on my face, he had me look in his eyes, he told me that I now knew what I was, and he expected me to always treat black men like the kings they are. I'm sure it's either in my DNA or I have been brainwashed. I don't care which, as long as I know I do my best to please the superior black man.
(This fascinated me, as it was from an actual white guy. He sounded a bit like my son... unsure why he did it... but he did it... and he loved it. And I didn't detect any shame in what he said.)
-I suck black cock because I like to. It turns me on. It's taboo...or was....it's considered pretty normal now. It's different and many times bigger. I get a kick out of doing stuff I'm not supposed to do. It's one thing to be a man and suck dick. But to be a white man and suck black dick is even more, and it doesn't matter to me that some people look down on a white man sucking black dick and eating their cum.
(I wondered if that was true. Was it now pretty normal for a white guy to suck a black cock? Until today I'd had no idea there even was such a sexual subculture.)
-I am a 54 year old happily married (26 years) father of 2, consider myself straight and love to suck big black cock.
(Wow! A married guy with k**s who considers himself straight and yet will suck a black cock. Evidence was continuing to pile up that my son wasn't alone in his feelings.)
- Sucking black cock emasculates us white boys. It goes against most everything we were taught growing up. So, when a straight guy bends his knees and sucks a big black cock, that act of submission reinforces his beta status. When the wife or gf watches, he is shamed even more, and knows he can no longer deny he is inferior to the superior black man who just dominated him. It's a power play. It works.
(More about the white guy's mindset, which kept me intrigued. And this guy does feel shame but considers it a plus. Could history be a factor in this?)
- I am not gay I am bisexual (orally only) I am a 50 y/o white man. I love women. I love the feel of a hot tight pussy and certainly love eating pussy and anything else you can think of while having sex with a woman. But I must say I do suck Black cock and Black cock only. When I see a black cock I just drop to my knees completely powerless to turn away from it however I am the opposite with white men. I love to swallow black seed and the size of most black men's cocks are great and of course the Taboo factor plus being in the closet is very exciting.
(Could it be that simply some intangible power possessed by black cock is what captivates white men? This guy is powerless in the face of black cock but only black cock... just like my son.)
-I'm a straight white man in every respect but one; 2 - 4 times a year if I'm single I'll find a bbc to deepthroat on craigslist. Only black men. Their cocks are big, long, look beautiful & silky when they are shining with my saliva... It's taboo. It's exciting. Years ago, I caught an ex of mine watching a porn with a little pigtailed white girl being gang-banged & dominated by two black guys with HUGE cocks. At first I was horrified that this is what got her off. In order to understand her fetish I began to watch similar videos. As time passed I realized I LOVED the vids where the white girl deepthroats & submits to huge black cocks. After a while I began to fantasize that I was the girl. I borrowed my ex's 8" dildo & began to deepthroat it while I watched the videos, I'd come with the dildo buried all the way down my throat. Then I answered a craigslist ad, deepthroated a 9" black cock till he shot into my stomach. Amazing. Loved it ever since.
(This one intrigued me too. What fascinated me was this circuitous route of how a straight guy ended up sucking a black cock; for some reason I wanted to read more of these.)
I went through all forty-seven pages and was rock hard throughout. That should have scared me, yet now I needed to read some stories about white straight men sucking cock.
I learned there were thousands of such stories.
I read a couple dozen. Each one drew me in some more.
My cock raged.
Before I knew it... two hours had passed... and I kept stroking my cock while reading story after story.
The idea of sucking cock was now so intriguing.
So captivating.
Then I came buckets as I suddenly imagined being on my knees before Jamal.
As I recovered, I cursed myself.
What the fuck?
Why did I read so much of this?
Why did it turn me on?
I logged out of my laptop and went to shower, cursing myself for my weakness.
.....
I woke up the next morning refreshed.
What a crazy dream!
I got out of bed and saw my phone flashing. I checked my messages and was suddenly wide awake without my usual morning cup of java.
It was a text.
From an unknown number.
Hi, future cock sucker. Here is a video of your son for you.
Shit, everything yesterday had been real.
And there was no way I'd be able to delete this vid without watching it.
I sat back in my bed and pressed play.
"Hungry for my cock?" a male voice said, his voice slightly covered to disguise who it was, even though it was obviously Jamal, as the camera looked down at my son on his knees.
"God, yes," my son responded with lust both in his eyes and in his tone.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Jamal asked as he adjusted the phone to show me his cock. Hard and big. No doubt it was Jamal's, his cock now forever ingrained in my head.
"Still downstairs at the party," he answered sheepishly.
"Think she would like this cock?"
"Probably," Ben surprised me by saying.
"If you could only have this black cock or Amy's pink pussy," Jamal asked, "which would you choose?"
"Your big, fat, juicy, black cock," Ben answered, the camera back on him.
"Would you rather have my cock in your faggot hole or your cock in your girlfriend?"
"I'd take your big black cock pounding my boi pussy," Ben answered, and after all my reading yesterday I could tell that degrading himself was getting him excited.
"I'd love to let you suck my cock, but I promised your Dad I wouldn't let you have it again until after he sucked it," Jamal revealed.
"No," Ben gasped.
I wasn't sure whether it was the devastation of being denied the black cock he craved, or because he'd inadvertently drawn me into this twisted game.
"Don't worry," Jamal reassured, moving his phone back to his cock. "Your Dad is a born cock sucker. I saw it in his eyes."
"Please leave him out of this," Ben pleaded.
"He brought himself into it when he stormed into my house."
"I'll do anything."
"I know you will," Jamal said smugly. "But for now you're to go back to your girlfriend while I summon Jordan to come and do what you're no longer allowed to do."
"Please, I need your cock so bad," Ben pleaded desperately.
"Sorry, you can blame Daddy dearest," Jamal shrugged, his phone still framed on his big, black, juicy cock.
Did I just call it juicy?
Fuck?
"You didn't tell him you wouldn't fuck my cunt," Ben pointed out desperately, his desire for black cock just like so many of the men's I read about last night.
Jamal laughed, "That's true."
"Please, please, just fuck my cunt and cum inside it," Ben begged like a bitch in heat.
"Tempting," Jamal chuckled. "But too bad... you need to be punished for your Dad's actions. Now go."
"Yes, sir," Ben said, completely deflated, using the same tone he had often used on me on punitive occasions.
"Don't worry," Jamal said, stroking his cock, "your Dad will soon be on his knees begging for this."
The video ended.
I lay there paralyzed.
My cock ached.
Fuck, why am I hard?
I'd just watched my son be humiliated.
Yet what was etched in my head was Jamal's big cock.
Fuck!
I flipped open my laptop and searched pornhub for black cock videos.
I pressed play on one and watched as a white slut bobbed on a big black cock... a BBC.
In the past I'd always focused on the girl, but this time I couldn't help but focus on the BBC.
It was so majestic.
It was so long and thick.
It was so black.
I watched her head bobbing on the BBC.
I looked at the glistening shine from her saliva as she stroked the fat cock... so fat she couldn't even wrap her hand completely around it.
I watched in awe as he exploded his load all over her pretty face, but instead of watching her expression and her face getting coated, I watched the black cannon blasting out rope after rope of cum.
I clicked on another clip... then another... choosing between thousands of clips of white women sucking and getting fucked by big black cock.
During every video I was transfixed on the black cock.
Not the black man.
The black cock.
And sometimes on his firm, dominant voice.
When a black man guided a white woman onto her knees, my cock flinched.
When a black man face fucked a white mouth, I got excited.
When a black man shot his load, I watched in transfixed awe.
I also discovered a website called Blacked, where every scene was one or more white women sucking and fucking black cock, and although the plots were usually atrocious, I didn't care because all my attention was on the black cock.
I spent over an hour and a half watching black cock before I couldn't take it any longer, and went back to watch the video of my son's humiliation again.
I took in his desperate hunger.
I heard Jamal's smug confidence.
I watched my son begging for cock.
I stared at Jamal's big black cock.
I came... hard... and in my imagination my cum had become Jamal's spurting cum, and I was the one on my knees sucking that BBC. I was the one taking that load down my throat or all over my face, shooter's choice.
It was then... as I came like a pathetic faggot... that I realized I too was a submissive... just like my son... just like all those other white men.
I knew without a doubt if I was put in that situation again with Jamal, I'd succumb.
Fuck!
I had to control this weakness.
I had to be strong not only for myself, but for my son.
It was no life to be addicted to BBC.
It was no life having to be humiliated like my son.
It was no life to be at the whim of a black man and his black cock.
Fuck!
I cleaned up my mess, logged out and showered again.
I went downstairs for breakfast and was pleasantly surprised to see Amy at the kitchen table, having bacon and eggs with Ben.
I greeted, "Morning."
"It's actually afternoon, Dad," Ben said, pointing to the clock.
12:10.
Fuck, how long did I watch those BBC videos?
"So this is what it's like to be you and waste half the day away," I joked.
"Refreshing, isn't it?" he smiled, showing no hint of the video he made last night. One, I assumed, he had no idea was being filmed for my benefit.
"It kind of is," I laughed.
"I made extra bacon and eggs for you, Mr. Barry," Amy said in her sweet voice as she got up and went to serve me a plate.
"Thanks, Amy," I said, unable to fathom a world where Ben would choose black cock over her, as I admired her long legs and tight ass in a pair of short shorts. (I'm not complaining, but I've never figured out why women's trousers often hug their asses like a second skin while men's don't. Think it's on purpose?) Yes, she's my son's girlfriend, but hot is hot. "But don't worry, I can make my own plate."
"I'm already up," she pointed out.
"She isn't going to stop," Ben advised me.
"Just like your mother," I laughed as I sat down. Mary had always made sure to prepare a big breakfast, as she believed it was the most important meal of the day.
I, on the other hand, always believed supper was.
"So how was last night?" I asked, wanting to see Ben's response.
"Great," Amy interjected. "It was a pretty crazy party."
"You two behaved?" I asked.
"Just the usual crystal meth and teen orgy," Ben quipped.
"So the normal?" I went along, but Amy scolded Ben.
"Ben, don't be ridiculous."
"True, there was no crystal meth," Ben smirked, his usual playful sarcastic banter on full display... no hint of what had actually happened last night, or what had almost happened.
"I remember those weekly orgies," I said, sounding reminiscent.
"You two," Amy shook her head as she placed the plate down in front of me.
"So a good night overall?" I asked.
"It was a blast," Amy said, which gave me a visual popup in my head of a BBC shooting cum.
I shook my head to get the image out of my head.
"You okay, Dad?" Ben asked.
"Yeah, yeah," I nodded, "just still a little tired, I guess."
"You should have slept until two," Ben said.
"Hurry up, Ben," Amy said. "We have to leave soon."
"Where you two off to?" I asked.
"Shopping for bikinis for the lake next weekend," Ben said as if he was being tortured.
"Don't pretend you don't love watching me model bikinis for you," Amy teased, giving him a shoulder rub.
"The first fifty, yes," he said playfully.
"I don't try on fifty," she said.
"Sorry, seventy," Ben corrected.
"Be good," she teased, "or I'll buy a one piece."
"God, no!" Ben gasped.
"Young love," I laughed, thinking how normal this conversation was. Just two teens in love. No evidence that my son would rather suck a BBC or even take one up his ass than watch her try on bikinis... which for the record, I'd find fucking hot.
Shit, I really do need to get laid.
They left; I finished breakfast.
I did the dishes.
I did the chores: laundry, cleaning the house and an oil change for the car.
By the time I was done it was supper... indeed the day is shot when you don't get up until the afternoon.
I texted Ben, who said they were going out for supper, so I barbequed a steak for myself, had a beer and then sat in the backyard and enjoyed the summer sun approaching the horizon.
I opened my ipad and checked my emails and was about to open a book when I felt myself instead googling more BBC stories.
I knew I should push the temptation out of my head, but before I knew it, I was reading tales of white men sucking black cock.
One that really stood out was the silly titled 'Becoming a Cock Slave Ch. 01' by John Hamilton. It was a blunt story of a black teen hitchhiker who convinces a white older guy who picked him up that all white men are cock suckers, and before you know it another straight white man is a cock sucker for BBC.
In the heat of the moment, I wanted just that.
To be forced to suck cock.
I didn't want to do it on my own accord.
I wanted to be dominated.
To be forced.
To be turned into a cock sucker for BBC.
Yet, I knew I couldn't... knew I shouldn't... I already saw the impact such a decision had made on my son's life.
I couldn't be at the whim of black cock.
I especially couldn't be at the whim of black teen cock.
Yet I kept reading more stories until I received a text.
I checked it.
Another blocked number.
If you're getting hungry for BBC, which we both know you are, go to pornhub and search BBC hypnosis videos and begin your training to be the good submissive white cock sucker you were born to be.
Born to be?
Fuck you.
His words only doubled my resolve to be strong.
I closed my ipad.
I went inside and turned on a sports channel.
I was watching a ballgame and as I did, a thought popped into my head as I watched a black batter waiting for a pitch. I wonder how big he is.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
What the hell is coming over me?
My cock was getting hard from watching baseball.
I grabbed myself another beer and focused on the game itself.
The game ended and I was now a little drunk and before I knew it I was in my room, on my laptop and clicking on the pornhub search Jamal had sent me.
Why?
No idea.
Could I control myself?
It seemed not.
So I searched exactly as I'd been told and found quite a few videos.
I clicked on one.
Girls getting fucked by black cock.
Messages flashing by about obedience, submissiveness, and something called sissification. (I later did a side search and learned it was about men making themselves as much like women as possible, but without hormones or surgery, just costuming, makeup, wigs, and most of all, feminine behaviour. Basically it was psychological, but often very immersive and heavy on the obedience, submissiveness and degradation.)
By the time the first video was done, I was rock hard.
In truth, I was rock hard the moment black cocks started popping onto the screen.
I clicked on another video called BBC Sissy.
So many big fat juicy black cocks flashed on the screen.
Being sucked.
Fucking.
Jerking.
Exploding.
It was complete hypnosis as I was drawn completely into the ultimate pendulum... a big cock swaying and pumping.
Glistening with saliva.
Standing erect with determination.
Pointing directly at me as if saying, Get on your fucking knees sissy, and suck me.
There was a voiceover spoken by a sexy feminine voice as if to brainwash me that this was normal... and I was captivated by each spoken word... every one... all while a plethora of black cocks paraded before my eyes.
Worship me.
Bow down to me.
Become the cock sucker you were born to be.
It's in your DNA.
It's who you are.
A cock sucker.
A cum bucket for BBC.
A sissy.
A faggot.
A bottom boi for BBC.
You suck cock.
You take it in the ass... your pussy... your boi hole.
You swallow.
You take facials.
You take bukkakes.
(I also had to look up what that term meant, and it only made my cock ache more at the idea of loads splattering endlessly on my face.)
You love black cock.
You love black cum.
You obey black men.
You worship black dick.
You live to serve BBC.
Say after me: I am a cock sucker for superior black cock.
Robotically I repeated the words verbatim, staring at a black cock swaying like an elephant's trunk: "I am a cock sucker for superior black cock."
I was born to be on my knees worshipping big black cock.
I mindlessly repeated the words as I watched a cute blonde bobbing on a fat black cock as if her life depended on it, and I wondered if perhaps it did: "I was born to be on my knees worshipping big black cock."
I am a white sissy who loves black cum on my face or in my mouth.
The term sissy meant the results of sissification, dressing as a girl etc., and the idea of wearing pantyhose turned me on (something I'd done a few times back as a teenager, but never since), I was fascinated with the idea of feeling cum hitting my face or landing tastefully (not in the normal sense of the word) in my mouth. This idea, of course, was enhanced by the plethora of black cock cannon blasts onto pretty girls' faces or into pretty girls' mouths. So as I watched BBC after BBC explode their white creamy treat (did I just call it a treat?), I repeated the required words: "I am a white sissy who loves black cum on my face or in my mouth."
I then paused the video.
I went to my wife's dresser drawer, which hadn't been touched since her passing, and found a pair of pantyhose.
I got undressed and put them on... which is a bit of work. Stretch them out a bit first, roll the first stocking up to the toes making sure it's lined up right, then slowly pull the stocking up adjusting at the knee, then do the same with the other leg. Slowly pull both sides up to your waist to cover your ass.
These were a bit tight... not surprisingly my wife had been thinner than me... but they did fit. My cock was pressed perfectly against the sheer hosiery.
I moved my hands up and down my legs, always loving the sheer feel of nylons... something I'd done to my wife at some point almost every day of our life together.
God, I missed her.
But I also missed the relaxing, cock-pulsing pleasure of rubbing my hands on nylons... even if they were on my own legs this time.
I went back to the video and pressed play.
I crave black cock.
I repeated, staring at five massive black cocks all being stroked in front of a chubby girl: "I crave black cock."
I crave BBC cum.
I repeated the simple phrase as I watched all five of those cocks explode all over the closed-eyed, opened-mouthed girl: "I crave BBC cum."
I crave being in my natural submissive position on my knees.
As two girls knelt before a lone but mighty BBC I repeated the words, wondering what it would be like to be in that position myself, so I got down on the floor and knelt on my knees as I continued watching the video: "I crave being in my natural submissive position on my knees."
I am a cock sucker for every BBC.
I watched as one by one, dozens of BBCs flashed before me, each of them so captivatingly enticing as I repeated the words as ordered: "I am a cock sucker for every BBC."
Because I am inferior to BIG... BLACK... COCK.
At the moment that was exactly how I felt. It seemed every BBC was much longer than my five-inch cock, much thicker than mine, and completely inexplicably, it was the most beautiful sight in the world. I know I sounded gay, I sounded like a faggot, but that was how I felt as I admitted my current truth: "Because I am inferior to BIG... BLACK ...COCK," as I paused for a couple of seconds between each of those final descriptive words.
I was rubbing my cock through my pantyhose... getting close to coming... when my phone brought me out of my submissive trance.
I paused the video.
I answered the phone.
It was Dave, one of my best friends.
"Hey!" I said, coming further back to reality.
"Hey, yourself. Where are you?" he asked, as I realized I was supposed to be at his house.
"Shit, I lost track of time," I said, which was the understatement of the year.
"Get your ass over here," he said. "And bring along a case of beer for being such a dumb ass."
"Yeah, yeah," I agreed putting my pants on over the pantyhose before I realized it. "I'm on my way."
"Hurry the fuck up," he said, hanging up on me.
I left the pantyhose on, threw some socks on to hide them, and headed out... thinking this call had been fate.
I had to man up.
I was late for Saturday's poker night because I was watching BBC porn.
I had to control these inclinations that were getting so intrusive in my life.
I drove to the liquor store.
Picked up the beer.
Arrived at Dave's house, where I was razzed and had to shotgun a beer and bolt two shots to catch up.
And for a couple of hours, I forgot about my weird weekend.
I drank.
I played poker.
I shot the shit.
It was a typical boy's night.
I was reaching for some chips from a high shelf when Dave asked confusedly, "Are you wearing pantyhose?"
"Um, yeah," I said, instantly embarrassed.
"Why?" he asked.
I came up with a good lie, impressive since I was quite drunk, "This may sound weird, but it's a way to still feel close to Mary."
"Oh, yeah, okay," he said. I'm not sure if he believed me or not, but it wasn't something to argue without looking like a dick. "How are you doing?"
"Ups and downs," I said, that being the truth.
"We should do a Vegas trip," he suggested.
"Yeah, we really should," I agreed, something we did yearly... just the boys... but hadn't since Mary's death.
"Give me a date, and I'll make it work," he said.
"Will do," I nodded, and then added, "but enough of this touchy-feely stuff. I've got to make my money back."
"Well, that ain't going to happen," he said, punching my arm.
"I just need to break even," I persevered.
"Good luck with that," he laughed as we headed back to the living room.
A beer later I poker-faced my way up to a large pot with a full house, and indeed did break even. But I was getting really tired and decided to call an uber to get home since I was quite drunk... when I noticed my phone had a couple of messages.
Worried they were from Jamal, I headed to the washroom, since I had to take a piss anyway.
I closed the door and checked the messages while I pissed (see, men can multitask too).
I somehow knew it wold be from Jamal.
The first was simply a picture of a BBC.
The other was a question: Hungry? If so, I expect you at my house at 1:00 AM. Backyard. In case you're worried... it will be our secret. Just a new cock sucker discovering his purpose.
I sighed.
Fuck!
As I finished pissing, I began to get hard again.
Fuck!
I mindlessly went back to his dick pic.
Fuck, it looked appetizing.
Being drunk only made my resistance weaker.
I was instantly horny.
I pulled my pantyhose, I mean my wife's pantyhose, back up and washed my hands as my phone buzzed again.
2 år sedan
