Things I omitted from my autobiography. Episode 4.

Claire.
The latter half of school was where the course of my life became set. All I wanted was porn and lots of it. Nobody I knew held this opinion the same way I did. Looking back I am surprised at just how many buildings had porn in. I mainly targeted industrial buildings so the odds were stacked, but in the many buildings I go to these days there is surprisingly little porn. Even girly calendars are uncommon now, not fruitfully abundant like they used to be.

By this time I owned a lot of porn. Only a lot by the measure of somebody who isn't allowed to have any and has to hide it, somehow storing it where it won't get stolen or damaged. It was probably no more than a dozen shopping bags full in total but that is a lot to hide when you have no real estate of your own. I had the very best stored at home. My stash was genius, I had pulled up the linoleum in the bathroom and lined the floor with newspaper. Each week I put down a new layer of newspapers and gradually it became thicker and thicker. After some months the paper was a bit over magazine thickness. I took out most of the paper and replaced it with porn mags with a little newspaper on top and below. You can store a ton of magazines invisibly like this I found, especially the smaller filthier magazines from Europe. It had to be well tesselated so it couldn't be felt underfoot, but at that age one has a lot of time for such details.

More was stashed out in the wilds. You would not be surprised to learn how few people want to board a half sunk and burned out boat that is rotting in the middle of a polluted river. It's a great hiding place until some local dogooder decides to clean up the nearby waterways. This was the only cache I cared about that I lost without warning. Other caches were usually in abandoned buildings. It was important to lay down bait. A building empty except for my porn would always end up losing my porn. But a building with a divertion inside, like an office full of fire extinguishers, or a locked safe would keep people busy in the wrong place for months.

The first papergirl I fell bang in love with was Samantha Fox.


She wasn't the hottest or the first girl I saw, but she was the first girl who kept repeating on me. As a page 3 girl this was inevitable repetition but to me it felt like she was coming back each time just for me. Then one cold January morning as I was doing my rounds looking for last years thrown out calendars, there she was! A huge picture and in full colour too! Oversized porn was always a problem. It was bad enough that most magazines were A4, though at least the majority of the top grade euro filth was A5. Some were even smaller, those were especially filthy. The smaller the filthier I noticed, of course it was many years before I figured out why. Remembering the picture, I know this was the 1984 Sun Calendar.


Since it was so large, I could not conceal it. I wanted it stored at home, I needed to be near my sweet Samantha. I'd found it out the back of an off license way the hell across town from my house and I knew that things were busy at home and would be until evening. There was no hiding this I had to be brazen and bold, I rolled it up and carried it openly. Keeping a careful watch for parents and certain friends who would cause a problem at this point, I failed to spot Claire.

This wasn't a big surprise, Claire was nobody to me. She was pretty in an androgenous kind of way, like Ellen Page I suppose, just not quite that hot.


She was always far too popular for the likes of me. I had once fingered her a few years earlier, as had everybody present that day. This cemented her position in town as popular with boys and hated by girls. She could simply choose which guy she was going to make popular. It did not make her popular with me, she never tried to make me popular and I would have avoided her if she had because she wasn't a porn mag. Suddenly she's right there with me on the outskirts of the main shopping area and nobody else that we know is around. As if I had nothing better to think about she picked now to pretend that we actually had something to talk about. Whatever she was saying wasn't very interesting. Somehow she began tagging along as though I were going where she were going. I started making weird turns and she followed them all. Did she even have any friends? If a friend of mine or hers spotted us they would likely be over in a shot and I'd be quickly busted with porn in front of the crowd, I had to head for seclusion away from town.

Soon we were passing through the Victorian abandoned cotton mills. I had spent so long in this area I knew the risk of meeting a soul was low and somebody I knew? About zero chance. She wanted to know where we were going and I said something about exploring for treasure. I immediately recognised that as a mistake as she asked me if the tube I was carrying was treasure. I had to think about that answer a bit. I wasn't really aware if my reputation as a porn hound extended to the girls around town but since it was about to, I had to decide on what terms that would happen. I told her it was the best kind of treasure because money couldn't buy it. She had a couple of guesses at what it was and I figured rather than drag this out I should get it over with. I proudly unrolled the calendar and opened it up to the first girl, my Samantha.

Claire didn't hide her disappointment. She wasn't mad, I think she was just expecting diamonds or something. She asked if there would be any better treasure obviously referring to something completely different but I decided to go all-in telling her that we'd probably find some magazines with totally naked girls in. She started talking about not understanding Page 3 much or why completely naked women were somehow better. Surprised, I asked if she'd ever really looked at the magazine pictures of the naked women and she confessed she'd never seen one. I couldn't understand not hunting even through your parents room for porn let alone anywhere else, perhaps she had but her parents just didn't have any or it was too well hidden. Knowing this mill had a few of my caches, including a really mucky one, I told her that finding these magazines was pretty easy... if of course, she wanted to see naked women. She lied and said she did.

I steered us switly towards the good stash. Too swiftly on reflection, it must have been pretty obvious that I knew exactly where I was going. I went right up to a bench at the wall and put the calendar down on it. I made sure to unroll it and expose my Samantha such that Claire could not easily avoid seeing her. I moved the heavy bench to access a wall mounted heater. The heater lifted off complete to reveal a hole in the wall behind. I reached in and upwards to pull a hidden magazine out. Real clandestine move I pulled there. She didn't seem particularly naive, perhaps she just played along with my obvious ploy for her own reasons. The recovered magazine was a dirty one from Europe. It was all about teenagers having sex, I thought she would like it, seeing pretty young girls being fucked. I pulled it out and pretended that I'd just found it and weren't we lucky.


I moved to the filthiest pages first thinking she would be as impressed as I always was. I had shot wide of mark. Way wide. Having never seen anything like this, she was overwhelmed. She must have known what her pussy was for since even I'd been in there but I guess she didn't know what cocks were for.


She reacted with denial. She said that she didn't like the idea of having anything to do things with cocks. That's not what I thought when I first saw a pussy being licked, I accepted it blindly and just hoped it tasted ok should I finally get my tongue on one. I tried to pull her back from the ledge, explaining that I figured it was just normal and maybe it's just a matter of time (hey I was right for a change!) before this was normal for people like us. She took the magazine from me, in her hands it fell open near the middle. Complaining that it wasn't in English she could still see that the girl it had opened on was barely older than she was, a snaggletooth blonde with an angelic face.


Claire caught me checking her chest to compare with the girl in the magazine. Claire's were far less developed and I knew I would have prefered them if only they had been in a magazine. She must have thought that I saw her in the same way that I saw the girls in the magazine.


Which I didn't of course, Claire was total crap to me, porn was everything though I knew she did not want to hear that. In her world, she began trying to make a rational sense of the images by distancing herself from the girl in the picture. The young girl she was looking at was dismissed being stupid and getting her hair caught in something.

She skipped onwards some pages and I skipped onwards into the desperate, needy, heaven of my own creation.

As she flipped through the magazine I suddenly got rock hard. She would not have noticed how her fingertips slid across the filthiest of pussies, or regarded the sound her nails made plucking at the page edges, but I did. A lot of things made sense very quickly. Everything I felt looking at porn, I wanted her to feel looking at porn. I wanted her to be the one playing with herself until... until what? Cumming? Like me? I didn't even know what that would look like. I only had magazines and had never seen a dirty video, I had no idea what could happen. I knew from the magazines pulling a face was usually involved, I did that, so I figured that her orgasm would feel to her like mine felt to me, it's just that I might not recognise it when it got here. I certainly had no idea that it would get here a lot faster if I had helped out. I wanted her to act just the way I would, licking the pages across the pussies and tits, kissing the prettiest girls on the lips. If she were to do that, it would drive me crazy and suddenly I knew it. 60 seconds earlier I had no idea about any this. While girls were an inferior product, it was clear suddenly that they were an ingredient that enhanced the power and efficacy of porn. Epiphany!

Back in the real world she was still building metaphorical walls between whatever picture she was at and herself. A cock was busy inside a young pussy and it silently accepted the criticism and derision levelled at it.


Claire told it that it was of no interest to her and never would be, that she could not understand why the girl would permit it near her. The cock just sat there in the pussy and didn't even flinch. I tried to win her around a bit. Asking her if she might think that the girl loves the man and sees his cock differently because of that. She accepted that love could change things, she had turned a page to suddenly exclaim that love does not excuse putting a cock in her mouth. She was quiet for a pause while she got over seeing her first blowjob.


I tried making more cases for people getting up to such things as seen in the magazine, rather unsuccessfully.


Claire thumbed onwards through the magazine. Across the pair of open pages titled as a "Love story" a girl was first holding another girls pussy open and then tonguing it, Claire had gone red.


At first it was shock, but it turned to annoyance. Anger did not seem far away. I made my usual entirely crap attempt to make the situation better by talking. She was going back and forth roughly through the magazine at high speed as though hunting for something. Watching her crumpling the pages drove me horny. My talking was stopping me cumming, which helped a lot. Sadly whatever I was saying was pushing Claire towards anger. I wasn't getting her to accept the porn as normal and I had to change course, not even appeals to love and other girly nonsense was working. Eventually she stopped hunting through the magazine and went back to the lesbian girls.


My dick renewed itself and took over, as we all know that never ever goes wrong.

I started explaining how the pictures affected me and what I thought of as I looked at them. Her expression went blank; she looked at me and curiosity appeared. Perfect, so I continued. I told her how I thought of myself in the picture, or just being there when the photo was taken. I told her that I would try to interact with the pictures, touching them, feeling them and even kissing and licking them to see if the photo ever kissed me back (yeah, I actually said that). She asked me if they ever did (yeah, she actually asked that) and I said no, but I said that it felt like it didn't matter if it never did. I said that licking the page where the pussy was didn't taste different to anywhere else to my tongue, but in my head it was entirely special. My dick was pulsing hard against my trousers and I wanted to wank it but with Claire here that would be out of the question. I tried twisting my hips to rub the cock against the fabric seams on my zipper, crap trick but it helps in bad situations. As dick was in full control of my brain and mouth, with it's minimal appreciation of reality, it was clear that since she was no longer on the brink of anger I was doing just fine, green lights across the board, plain sailing, we're in business now, you can't lose, and so on.

With the two girls clearly enjoying the taste of pussy Dick pushed on, telling Claire that those girls too would enjoy dirty magazines like I do. I boldly told Claire perhaps she might also. Unconvinced, at least she was no longer heading towards angry. Claire said she wondered what it would be like to touch a pussy and reached down to touch herself through her jeans. I felt the impending shot spurting from my cock. This was my first girl reading porn and using it as it was meant to be used. I was gonna cum, now, right now. Happy to let it happen, a split second before I was past abort, "Nope" said Claire bringing her hand back. What? Apparently nothing had happened upon touching herself. I suggested that she try it inside her clothing. Her attitude changed unexpectedly. It seemed she'd managed to confuse herself perhaps, or I'd missed the point or something. She turned back to the lesbian girls in the mag and asked how it felt to touch a pussy. In reference to her pussy from when I fingered it I said it was warm, wet but difficult to get at going down the panties from the top. Some confusion remained, she must have thought I was talking about paper pussy in my imagination because she then asked if it felt the same as the time I fingered her pussy. I ignored the confusion telling her it was just the same, did she not feel it when she touched the pictures I asked? She said she'd never fingered her own pussy and I was very surprised since so many other people had. "I wonder what it feels like" she said as in a single flowing move she pushed her finger through the page, ripping right into the teen pussy on the page. Witnessing the glorious treasure tearing, my brain was on the distant horizon screaming in agony for me to stop her but Cock was in charge and immediately hit 88 miles an hour, cumming so fast it probably landed in 1955.

I disguised my situation well, I doubt she knew what signs to look for in my orgasm either. She twisted her finger around inside the girls pussy and my dick remained at Diamonds despite having just cum. Nodding her head down she licked at pussy she was fingering almost recreating the picture on the page. Claire seemed to have not spotted it was ass fingering and I didn't want to break her current streak with something that might gross her out.


In heaven I could hear the sound her tongue was making as it dabbed the paper. I could taste the musky paper pussy just as much as Claire could. It didn't matter that I was losing such a horny and irreplaceable magazine. Besides, it was still mostly intact and the page she had crumpled and ripped appeared more anointed than it did ruined. I wanted more and Dick was convinced about how to get more. What Dick lacks in practical creativity he makes up for with enthusiasm and stupid courage in abundance. I asked her how good the pussy felt and she said she liked it. Nice. I asked her how many fingers she could get in and she opened the tear putting two more in. The slow crisping rasp of the tear opening focussed me on the delicious picture being utterly ruined before me. I watched as it tore gracelessly, I needed more.

I told her that I hadn't thought to put my dick in the girls like she'd put her finger in the girl, which was very true as I really would not have done that to a magazine. She said that must mean that I don't know how a pussy would feel. It wasn't that I was being chided for being a virgin, we all were. It was very matter of fact. I said that I knew how it felt to my finger both in paper and for real. By return, my inference was just as matter of fact, right back at her. The remark hit the target and with no pause she put the magazine down to start unbuttoning her jeans. To me this was kind of a step backwards. I prefered it when she had the magazine. She pulled down her jeans and, without removing her white trainers, stepped a leg out of them. Before any chance for hesitation her panties were following them down. Her pussy was right there, a few fine angel hairs waved free as they were released. Damm that was pretty to look at. It was like a porn magazine only, real?, right here? what? I didn't know. It was awesome though. My poor dick couldn't take any more and plopped out another load weakly into my sopping underpants. Yet it remained primed. Utterly unheard of, but then again so was pretty much everything that was the last 30 minutes.

I felt helpless, I didn't know what I could, or should do. The whole situation was utterly preposterous. Claire was well known for getting around and loads of boys claimed they had seen and done all sort of things with her but there was no sense in why any of this was happening around me. I had nothing for her, I came from a poor home, was as much a computer nerd as one could have been in those days, I had no athletic abilities and no strength. I certainly had sod all popularity on the social front. This was some crazy shit in my life. As her panties hit her ankles, she stepped the same bared leg from them and placed it forwards turning herself towards me with her legs well parted. I said nothing, I probably had a dopey look on my face. She twisted to pick up the magazine. Oh yes, back in business I figured.

The previous page had the papergirl clearly fingering the pussy.


Claire tore the page from the magazine and I made some weak noise that might have been a protest or another cumshot, I didn't know and neither did she. She looked up as if interrupted and I stowed that shit. She dropped the magazine onto the bench and she looked back down at the page she'd taken out as though this was hers. Leaning back with her legs opened, she flipped over the page to press the back of the back to her nearly bald cunt. She asked if it looked like she was being fingered by the other girl. Holy crap I loved my life! It felt like I could hear the Porn Fairy talking me, explaining that this was what it was all about, why she had left all these magazines for me to find. I was supposed to enjoy my porn with other girls in whatever ways we could think of!

Hoping to encourage her more, I told her that I really like seeing that papergirl pushing the finger in but that I couldn't see well. To correct this, she launched her weight off her bare leg. Giving herself temporary balance on her grounded leg in her jeans she kicked the bare leg up onto the bench. Her white trainer came down hard on the magazine and it buckled badly under the pressure. The pages slid against each other as it gave way at the staples and many pages tore before the sole of her trainer hit the bench top and brought her to stability. Watching the porn so wastefully ruined without any point to it was such a sacrilige. I absolutely loved hating that I loved it. My precious paper girls had just been treated so poorly. They weren't even a second thought, they were nothing to Claire. Just an obstacle to her, nothing special. They were just hers to use as she saw fit. Fuck 'em. And fuck me too, had she even known what they meant to me I doubt she'd have cared. I wanted to protect them from her, but I also wanted to fail in trying and watch her ruin them even more needlessly.

She told me to crouch to see better, obviously I did. As I looked up at the picture, she repeated her inquiry, did it look like she was being fingered by that girl? I emphasised that it probably looked exactly like she was being fingered by that girl. Like Pavlovs whore she reached around behind herself, crouching to get the right angle, she brought a hand in from the rear and punched a finger right through the page into her own pussy.

My poor cock damm near to turn inside out and I forgot to breathe. I came again but by now I imagine nothing but a puff of air came out to blow a pathetic cum bubble. I may or may not have said a word. Claire was smiling and twisting her finger around. "Now it looks like I'm being fingered!" she decreed. The page twitched as her finger pushed on it. Some part of my precious porn was inside her. I slowly moved a finger towards her. Before I got to her pussy, her finger came out and four fingers were placed over the picture and pussy, blocking my approach. As I retracted my hand the three larger fingers bent inside her, taking more papergirl into her. I asked if more fingers felt better and she said it did. I reached out again, this time she did not block it. I found her three friends in there and we danced a little. I suppose she was experiencing the feeling, but I was trying to find the porn fragments I knew must be up there.

In all the careless motion she lost her balance and fell away from the bench. All our fingers left her swiftly as she hopped sidewards to avoid a fall. The magazine page dropped free and fell to the ground. A piece of the page from inside her was stuck to her hand and she tried shaking it loose, laughing she'd still not regained her balance yet. Her naked leg came down hard in a final attempt to remain upright but it landed on her jeans pinning her other leg in place. Claire toppled and her legs spread wide to show her pussy. It was clearly wet and had small pieces of porn page sticking to it. I picked up the dropped page and headed towards her to recover whatever else I could get. I wanted to smell or even taste the piece that had been inside her.

She was uninjured but in just enough pain to alter her mood entirely. As I approached pussy her legs snapped shut. I held a hand out to help her up. She took the hand and I took the piece of porn that was clinging to it as I pulled her to standing. She went to pulling her panties back in place and while she wasn't looking I licked the porn page. I was impressed, but I don't remember why. As her panties locked home I noted she hadn't plucked off the porn pieces still clinging to her and I offered to get rid of them for her but she just stretch down her panties and wiped them to the ground. I figured I would get them later, even as pointless tiny fragments they had more value because they'd touched a cunt and I wanted them.

She buttoned up her jeans and looked towards the destroyed porn mag. Sam stared at Claire from her calendar. She picked up the now loose leaves of magazine and shuffled it to roughly complete. She went to the lesbian girls which where at the back pages. She grabbed the cover along with the lesbian pages and dragged them backwards off what was left of the staple binding. "These are mine, you can have the others". Handing me the pages that hadn't yet made it to the floor. My precious magazine was a wreck and I couldn't have been happier about it. I asked what she wanted with those particular pages and she said she didn't know but she wanted them. I guessed she wanted to try again in private later but I kept my mouth shut. I was just happy to have supplied my first girl with porno papergirls!


She folded the pages into quarters and pushed them down her panties saying pockets weren't safe enough. Watching prime porn so roughly treated and pushed against cunt one more time, I wanted to squeeze out another handsfree puff of air from my drained balls but it couldn't happen. I started scratching around to gather up all the porn fragments. I put the Claire scented pieces together, separate from the rest on top of Samantha. Those were definitely going home with me. I managed to get the rest of the mag formed into a magazine style bundle. I couldn't really put the magazine back since it was 'found treasure' but I managed protect the rest of that stash by closing up the hole in the wall and putting the bench back to 'cover our tracks', which Claire seemed to appreciate as a good idea.

I put the magazine inside the calendar pages and managed to get the special Claire bits touching Samantha. I rolled it all up and carried my share of the treasure with me. Claire joked I couldn't put that giant tube down my pants. I wanted to tell her how much I would have loved to have her shove some papergirls down there but I knew what a sticky mess I was waddling around in and that staying out of it was for the best. As we cleared the mills, she headed her own way and I went mine. I was going to go back to put the magazine remains back in hiding but I wanted them at home now. They were special because a girl had ruined them and I wanted to look at the magazine over and over to remember what Claire had done to it. I had to wait until dark to sneak into the house once the parents were either in front of the TV or at work and that's a long time with a boner pressing into a personal best cum slushy.

I don't have the actual magazine from that day, but I figured I must have acquired another since then. And I actually found it, so I took some pictures to bring it all to life...